Friday, April 13, 2007

The Magick of Iridology

Mr Odd : My back feels completely fine. But I still see the chiropractor every 3 weeks, of course.

Dr Dork: Of course. Do the wrists give you much trouble after the operations ?

Mr O: None at all, doc.

Dr D: Great! Good for you. How has the drinking been going ?

Mr O : I drink a bottle and a half each night, but I took out the unhealthy stuff from the mix.

Dr D: Meaning...?

Mr O: I saw my iridologist just after the operations. He told me to cut down on the Coca-Cola.

Now I mix my bourbon with ice-water.

Only smoke light cigarettes as well.

Dr D: OK. *takes a sip from diet cola*

Mr O: The phosphates in that will kill you, you know...


DrWes said...

I guess it was because his eyes were too brown that the iridologist asked him to cut out the Coca-Cola?

...or maybe his sclera were starting to turn yellow from the cirrhosis... ;)

Dr Dork said...

Hi Dr Wes,
It's always about the Kayser-Fleischer Rings. Always.

jmb said...

Well at least he hasn't cut you out of the mix!
I wonder if an iridologist could cure my cataracts without surgery. Oh but it's quackery, what a shame.

N=1 said...

Is that ice water filtered? And how many drams in the bottle?

So heartwarming when your patients take health teaching to heart and even look out for you, isn't it, Dr.Dork!?

Makes me teary - but that's just the smoke gets in your eyes effect, methinks.

Thanks for the grin.

NeoNurseChic said... iridologist....haven't tried one of those for the headaches yet! Thanks for the idea! (I'm totally joking.......I'm surprised nobody has ever recommended one of those to me - the list of things that people have recommended is long, and often quite amusing!)

Take care!
Carrie :)

AzRN said...

Amazing what denial will do for you. Hope the iridologist catches the HCC when it occurs.

Dr Dork said...

Not yet. Still, cutting down sugar intake is a good first step in the right direction. Perhaps getting the ETOH under 25 units next, one hopes.

Hi n=1,
How many drams ? Lots. Not even single malt. Pshaw.

Hi Carrie,
Voodoo > iridology. Rather a predatory form of untrained quack.

Hi azrn,
The iridologist will only look at irises, of course ? What have yellow sclera got to do with anything ? Ha !

Kind regards

NeoNurseChic said...

Dr. Dork,

My dad bought up on the suggestion of using magnets and bought these magnets (very expensive, mind you) from a company and cut up a headband and put the magnets inside. Prior to cutting up the headband, he gave me the magnets to try with the sticky stuff that's supposed to hold them on - mainly they ended up stuck in my hair and annoying me! I've also gone to various certain types of dentists. I've been to a chiropractic conference just to see this guy who "knew a maneuver that would surely help" and I've been to a massage therapist, from Australia no less. (I liked her!) I've been to 2 different types of accupuncturists - the first was a total quack and she told me the medicine I was on was making me sick and that I should come off it and take these expensive vitamins she was selling... The 2nd accupuncturist was actually really good, and I'd go back to him again if it didn't cost so darn much every time! Didn't notice an appreciable change in my headaches after 5 or 6 visits....

The list of vodoo quackery I have tried is actually quite long....and it's all been done either to shut somebody up or because I thought, "What the hell - maybe this will work".... This is why I'm rather surprised an iridologist hasn't popped up on the list of things people have given me to try - thus far, the list has been quite amusing.

But then, I'd eat dirt if I believed it would lessen my pain! ;)

Take care,
Carrie :)

Dr Dork said...

Sorry you've had a tough run. Your blog doesn't seem to come through to my bloglines thingamajig anymore s was unsure what was happening.

I concur, if you have a problem that is not getting better, then seeking multiple expert opinions is reasonable.

Beware the quacks, though. They will screw you over.

Best wishes,

Calavera said...

Iridology? Eh? What has that got to do with Cola? What??


Dr. Karen Benton, ND said...

I read, with interest, the comments on iridology. As a naturopathic physician, I always check a patient's eyes as part of their initial intake. You'd be surprised at the correlation between eye patterns and organ dysfunctions. The book by Bernard Jensen is the best reference. This is not a substitute for a good history, exam, etc. but try to keep an open mind (eye) about the usefulness!

Dr. Karen Benton, ND

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